My story begins in late 2008, when people were again welcomed the new year 2009, I accompanied my mother in the hospital. When my mother was being treated for lymphatic cancer. For a long time my mother sick, and I finally know the actual disease. I checked several places and finally I took her to a doctor who is very famous and the only oncologists in Bali. I do not think my mother's illness was very ferocious. Finally on the advice of a doctor, I take it to the Puri raharja hospital in Denpasar. At that time I was not thinking at all costs, I'll try to get it despite having to borrow.
I do not know how much money has been spent to check my mother, who is in my mind my mother a speedy recovery. Having cared for in hospital I was still trying to work the afternoon and evening I accompanied mother. My brothers also came in rotation. After doctors recommend chemotherapy treatment for the right way, I finally and family agree, and I could only think where to get money for the cost of chemotherapy. Doctors estimate the chemotherapy done several times and for all therapies require a fee of six million. I was so sad when you see the condition of my mother, I will not tell you how my mother's physical condition. Most importantly I see my mother well again and always welcome me, my wife and especially a very dear anaku with joy. Actually I'm very fond of her, my mother is a woman who is very brave to face all the problems that befall his life.
Having agreed with my father, my mother eventually underwent chemotherapy. Maybe destiny God finally my mother could not fight the disease so that appropriate on 8 January 2009 my mother died. I was so shock to accept this reality, but I'm trying to wait patiently and continue to wait.
After several months I began to live my life normally again, of course, without a mother who is always asking how I was doing. I started to work and forget all the bitterness that I experienced. But the ordeal comes again, I lost my bike that I bought it with credit. This incident makes me upset again. Finally I asked this to the 'smart people' ( shaman ). 'Smart people' are telling me that my family 'salah pati' is wrong kawitan. In Bali kawitan it is the origin of the ancestor who gave birth. This is where the turning point in my spiritual life. Every day I wonder about the fault for this, I began studying Hindu literature. And at the suggestion of my brother, I started learning meditation without a teacher. From here I discovered the Gayatri mantram japa meditation that I say when.
First of all I do not feel anything from my seclusion, until a few weeks I finally felt the incredible when I meditate. One night late in my meditation when I felt my chest exploded and there were flashes of light in my mind. This incident was so fast, makes me shocked and stopped my meditation. I have tremendous fear, because I do not know what I should do. Some day I quit meditation because of fear of what will happen again. In my heart there is the confidence to continue it again, I finally went on meditating with the reasons why should be afraid, I did it just to beg forgiveness of God. This is where the first term I began to experience trance. I'm experiencing strange things that I could not control but I'm still conscious of what I experienced. I can not control myself, there is a push from my mind, there is a movement that I do not understand, until I heard the whispers that continue to accompany me every day. Maybe this is the first I was mad, mad that I did not realize but I'm aware of what happened to me, this is what I never understood before. Many things that I experienced during the week, I felt the strangeness of it. I'll tell you later ....